I am so blessed, and I feel like I've found my way

I can't believe I haven't updated since April, and part of me wishes I had because then I'd have somewhere to look at and remember all of the amazing blessings from this summer, but alas, I didn't and I'll have to think there's purpose in that.

Looking back on where I was in April, I see a complete transformation in who I am. God has been doing a really mighty number in my life, and it's been amazing to live. He's blessed me in so many ways, and I could try and list them all and never quite get close to even a shadow of the multitude of them. It makes my heart just want to sing praises and thank yous to God.

One of the biggest blessings of this summer was the relationships I developed, and the healing I received. Particularly, in Betsy and Daniel and their family. I feel God totally ordained this summer with them, and my relationships with them. We all prayed about it and felt God was calling us to have a more regular relationship, and it's been incredible to witness what he's done each week. I feel strongly that God has healed many places in my heart by giving me the family I've found in them, and it's been so amazing to see. I can't quite put it into words, but my heart overflows with them. One of the greatest things has been the relationship I've developed with their children, who have blessed me consistently throughout my time with them. I've found a family and a place to feel safe and at home, and I've not found that anywhere else. It's really amazing to me that in all of my anger and bitterness and sadness over not having the family I wanted growing up, God has taken those voids and filled them through that family. And it's healed me, and my relationships with my family members in amazing ways. :)

This summer has been a whole lot of branching out, and a whole lot of being in relationship with new people... A lot of seasons. I went on an amazing retreat and received a lot of healing in that--mostly in the idea that Jesus sees me as his bride. That he waits in expectation for me. That my name is no longer desolate or deserted, but married, and "my delight is in her". What a lesson from the King of the universe. Love, love, love.

There have been a lot of one-shot opportunities for healing. With camp, conversations, retreats, and just studying God's word and listening to His voice. I think one of the biggest things that happened was a revelation of a dream I'd had as a child, and the interpretation of it as an adult that really highlighted the root of a lot of issues. It's put me in a few classes for the fall/year that I think God is definitely in. I can feel him breaking apart and chipping away at my heart to bring me closer to who He wants me to be.

I've been feeling a bit of a lull in my personal relationship with Jesus recently (I know, it's not God that moves, it's me that moves), but writing down this blog and remembering the immense blessings and healing of this summer is lighting a new fire and desire for Christ inside of me, and I love it. To live is Christ and to die is gain! For sure!!

So now, going into the fall, I suppose I'm looking at my heart and who I am and how I'm made up, and wondering what else God could possibly do for me :) I know he has huge plans for my life (he taught me that too, thanks Grandpa!) and I'm so excited to feel him moving inside of me and through me. I can't wait to write my next blog in four months and talk about the immense blessings of the fall.

I feel like a completely different person. Suddenly, it's so clear to me how truth it is that God works all things for the good of those who love him. I have a faith I didn't before, and a passion and love for God I didn't before. He truly is a God who keeps his word!! God is not man that he should lie, nor son of man that he should change his mind! Does he promise and not fulfill? Does he speak and not act? GOD IS GOOD. ALL THE TIME.

"Every blessing you pour out I'll turn back to praise. When the darkness closes in, Lord, still I will say. 'Blessed by the name of the Lord! Blessed be Your name. Blessed be the name of the Lord! Blessed be his glorious name.' "