New Years Resolutions... that I may or may not keep.

Everyone always does New Years Resolutions, it seems. And then it makes me laugh because everyone always asks everyone else what they're doing. And I don't know, maybe I'm alone in this feeling, but I'm kind of like, if it's a resolution, it probably means I feel pretty bad about where my life is right now with this particular aspect... so why would I tell you that I'm dissatisfied with myself the way I am. The whole purpose of a resolution is to change who you are because you don't like what you've become. And what is with the automatic idea of everyone that we're all going to fail. It's incredibly disheartening. Maybe someone, somewhere, should give someone the benefit of the doubt. Maybe 2009 is the year people will keep their New Years Resolutions... And because I'm one of those people that needs to always be able to write down what I'm feeling and where my resolutions are, here they are, in all their glory.

1. Learn how to actually love people. Not cookie-cutter love, but real, genuine, selfless love. Or at least start trying to learn.

2. Lose two pounds every month.

3. Learn to trust God with the small things. Stop worrying about how I'm going to make ends meet.

4. Break the text messaging addiction.

5. Read twelve books that aren't textbooks.

6. Get over him. Or at least stop banking on him.

7. Find God in sunsets and sushi.

Life gave me lemonade and I can't imagine why

I feel like all I ever talk about or write about these days are my little pieces of heaven on earth, but that's okay. I don't feel like I need any new inspiration or anything. Eva & Bear came to the Christmas Unwrapped production at the church on Friday night, and they were just too adorable. I watched Ben during a lot of it, and he was just so happy and big and just sitting in Mtr. Travis' lap so well. I was proud of him. :) And he seemed to really be enjoying himself. I caught him bobbing his head to the music some, and I caught him giggling some. I was excited to see him there. It's funny how much he pays attention now... It seems like he always has, but I was just remembering him a few months ago and how he wouldn't hold a stare, and now he can sit there and watch a production for an hour. Awesome. And Diva-Kay was just so cute. Sitting there and the whole place is silent until all of a sudden you hear "KAWIS! HOWD YOU KAWIS!!!" It can just warm your heart and soul :) She makes me so happy. Her little giggles. :) Those are what dreams are made of!

Betsy & Daniel brought Sarah Jane to church today. My, she's a teeny one! I remember when I first met Ben when he was just a few weeks old! I thought he was the littlest thing ever! And when Steph handed him to me, I could hold onto him with one hand (but I didn't dare!) but Sarah Jane is so much littler! Ben was definitely bigger, and he was the same age when I first met him as Sarah Jane is now. It's crazy. She's only six pounds, and I swear! I sat there and watched her and watched her. She's just too cute. I love little babies.

It's crazy to think about, but it's been a year since I first met Eva. Crazy. I remember when I did meet her, that same night I called my mom and I was just so excited. Since I started babysitting six years ago, I've always heard people say that you just find your family... that there's some sort of strange bond that happens between a babysitter and a family and you just walk away knowing that's where you're supposed to be... And I had forgotten until my Mom reminded me how much I felt that the first night I went over and met Eva & Steph (so weird, no bear?) and I think that's one of the coolest things. Having that bond with the kids and with Steph. It's just been such a blessing to my life, and I'm so thankful that I've gotten the chance to know them. When I babysat DW, his mom used to always ask me "isn't this great birth control?" I feel so lucky to have found kids that are horrible birth control.