I'll be the first to admit that sometimes I have doubts about the whole Jesus thing. They're short-lived and not very serious, but I have doubts just like every other person on this planet. But the amazing thing is, no matter where I am in my life or what God is doing (or how much I feel like he is missing), he always reminds me. Usually, in the same splendid way. I've always had this faith that coincidences aren't coincidences. Call it "everything happens for a reason" if you wish, but I truly believe God gave me this unshakeable faith in his perfect plan for a reason. It really does pull me out of the darkness and into light when I get into that mindset.
It's crazy for me to think about how perfect everything in life just meshes together. I just love the way God works. He pushes you into relationships at just the right time. It just leaves me in awe sometimes. The friends He's blessed me with are just so phenomenally beyond anyone I could have ever picked out. Just, incredible.
I really feel like I'm on the brink of something. I'm not sure what it is, but it's just how I feel. All of this busyness in my life is going to pay off hugely this semester, and all of these friends I've made and am making are going to benefit me greatly. I'm just really looking forward to continuing on in my relationships and learning about people and how they live and act and everything. And learning about Jesus. It's amazing how much I'm learning about Him right now.
Like, right now, I'm learning to rely on Him. My best friend is over in Spain for a month, and it might not seem very long to most people, but when the person you call for EVERYTHING is over across big huge seas getting lost in streets and scared out of her mind sometimes, you start to get a little antsy. It's strange, rethinking my decisions. All of the times where I'm normally walking to my car and I used to call her, I don't anymore. When I watch a TV show or run into a cute boy or just think of something random... I can't call her. And I know she's having a great time in Spain, and she's learning so much, and I'm just so thrilled for her to be able to do this, but I miss her greatly. And I know God is teaching both of us to rely on Him more... and to rely on more of the people He's given me.
I heard a really comforting thought on the radio today. "Don't worry; these are not the best years of your life." It really struck me because I have always been seriously scared that these ARE the best years of my life, and I'm just wasting them. But I don't feel like I'm wasting them, and if I am, I wouldn't even know how to begin to not waste them. I love where I am right now. I get my introverted time; i get my time with friends... I get to study, love, play outside in the grass.... watch babies. I just get to do so many amazing things. And to think it could all be better. Well! I'm happy to hear it. :)
I just plain love my friends. They're so weird and funny and amazing. Ahh, life is good.
Friday, January 11, 2008
Thursday, January 3, 2008
Pregnancy blues, 2008, Chick-fil-A
50 Things (for no reason, and in no particular order)
1. Chick-fil-A astonishes and captivates me.
2. I could write so many memoirs about my life, and I really would love to.
3. I really don't get the big deal about musicals. Hand me Grease and Assassins, and then just go away.
4. I want to be a fictional character just so I can meet Jim Halpert.
5. I watch Cash Cab, and I think it's the coolest thing ever. Like, I want to live in New York City just to take a ride in the cash cab.
6. I find it adorable that my 15 month friend Eva loves Take Home Chef.
7. The way God decides who has how many children seems really unfair to me. Why can a woman who purposely got her tubes tied have a third child, when someone who desperately wants her second can't seem to get pregnant?
8. I don't want Sprinkles, I want Garbage!
9. My best friend is going to Spain for three weeks, and I have no idea what I'll do without our nightly phone calls.
10. I really miss How I Met Your Mother and The Office, but somehow, I'm managing to live without Grey's.
11. The Writer's Strike has helped me figure out the many ways I waste my time. And that I'm okay with wasting it.
12. The worst part of college is winter break. It's strange when all of your friends leave...
13. Pregnant women are adorable.
14. In a month or so, I will be an aunt. Wow, I'm growing up.
15. If I lived in LA, I'd get paid double what I make now, but I'd work for a few hippies.
16. I love PostSecret. The more I read it, the more I realize my secrets aren't as big and scary as I thought they were.
17. The worst feeling in the world is watching a kid you love get hurt. It seriously sucks.
18. Why is it that five good shows come on at one time, and then for five hours after that, there's nothing at all on?
19. I wish I had the motivation to spend time with God.
20. Even though I haven't done anything to make me feel this close with Him, I feel closer to God than I ever have before. I blame it on my kids.
21. My heart aches when I leave a child, no matter how horrible or rotten they were. I dread the day when they get too big for me to play with them.
22. I miss Kaitlyn and Lexi like they're my own children. Not seeing them for two weeks is horrifying.
23. I still have no idea what classes I'm taking next semester, and surprisingly, I'm okay with that.
24. I still cry when I get in a fight with my mom.
25. Words can't say how liberating it still feels to be able to wear jeans and a hoodie every day, even after quitting at the law firm nearly 6 months ago.
26. I'm rushing in two weeks, and I never thought I'd say that. Ever.
27. Sometimes, I'm upset I don't have as many friends as others. But, I feel bad for people with a lot of friends because I know that the intimacy I have with my real friends is far more exceptional than anything they have with their circles.
28. I really loved Walk Hard. I still can't get over it.
29. I read Nanny Diaries last week, and I still can't get over the fact that I could have written that book.
30. When do children go from being cute and innocent to being as screwed up as their parents are?
31. It's funny, whenever teenagers have sex, everyone says they lost their innocence. I haven't had sex, and I still don't think I have my innocence. Why must we equate the two?
32. I wish parents would just let their kids call their 'private parts' their vaginas and penises. I'm so sick of having to remember who has a tee-tee, who has a pee-pee, who has a va-ja-jay, and who just has a 'private part.'
33. The more I play with kids, the more I realize that it's seldom too early to talk to your kids about sex. Basically, if you're thinking about talking to them, it's time.
34. Christmas passed, and I still don't feel like it really ever came.
35. St. Peter's Gorge for a George is pretty much the highlight of my week.
36. Why is New Years such a big deal? Why don't we get the 1st of every month off? I'd love to be able to be off on my birthday.
37. They say people die in threes. For the past three years, that's been true. I can't help but wonder who the three will be this year.
38. My family is so wacky, I can't even describe them to anyone, but I wouldn't change them for the world.
39. I hate telling people I'm a babysitter/nanny/caregiver for a living because the first question out of everyone's mouth is always, "and you like that???" Yes, I do. Why don't you go take a kid to the park instead of calling your lawyer on your bluetooth headset.
40. I actually had a family ask me to babysit on Christmas this year. Is anything sacred anymore?
41. I refuse to have resolutions for the New Year. What's the point?
42. I honestly feel like this year has been the best year of my life, even if it has had some significant low points.
43. We got a waffle/sandwich maker for Christmas. It sounds unnecessary, but I feel like a Queen every time I love it. The grilled cheese sandwiches are just SUPERB.
44. I wish I could cook.
45. My favorite age is 1-2 years. Everything is new. Today, Eva said "maaaaa" and took a few steps. The joy you feel, it's just incredible.
46. I love to read. Right now, I'm reading The Glass Castle by Jeanette Wells. LOVE it. But so sad.
47. Everybody has his/her demons. Few people care enough to look past the facades we put on to unravel those demons and tame them.
48. Green is my favorite color. There's no way around that. It's just amazing.
49. I still love the movies I loved as a child. It Takes Two is phenomenal.
50. I was watching Family Feud today, and it was the ex-wives vs. the ex-husbands. And the host was asking the husband if he really wanted to be divorced, and it broke my heart when he said, "I've never been happier."
1. Chick-fil-A astonishes and captivates me.
2. I could write so many memoirs about my life, and I really would love to.
3. I really don't get the big deal about musicals. Hand me Grease and Assassins, and then just go away.
4. I want to be a fictional character just so I can meet Jim Halpert.
5. I watch Cash Cab, and I think it's the coolest thing ever. Like, I want to live in New York City just to take a ride in the cash cab.
6. I find it adorable that my 15 month friend Eva loves Take Home Chef.
7. The way God decides who has how many children seems really unfair to me. Why can a woman who purposely got her tubes tied have a third child, when someone who desperately wants her second can't seem to get pregnant?
8. I don't want Sprinkles, I want Garbage!
9. My best friend is going to Spain for three weeks, and I have no idea what I'll do without our nightly phone calls.
10. I really miss How I Met Your Mother and The Office, but somehow, I'm managing to live without Grey's.
11. The Writer's Strike has helped me figure out the many ways I waste my time. And that I'm okay with wasting it.
12. The worst part of college is winter break. It's strange when all of your friends leave...
13. Pregnant women are adorable.
14. In a month or so, I will be an aunt. Wow, I'm growing up.
15. If I lived in LA, I'd get paid double what I make now, but I'd work for a few hippies.
16. I love PostSecret. The more I read it, the more I realize my secrets aren't as big and scary as I thought they were.
17. The worst feeling in the world is watching a kid you love get hurt. It seriously sucks.
18. Why is it that five good shows come on at one time, and then for five hours after that, there's nothing at all on?
19. I wish I had the motivation to spend time with God.
20. Even though I haven't done anything to make me feel this close with Him, I feel closer to God than I ever have before. I blame it on my kids.
21. My heart aches when I leave a child, no matter how horrible or rotten they were. I dread the day when they get too big for me to play with them.
22. I miss Kaitlyn and Lexi like they're my own children. Not seeing them for two weeks is horrifying.
23. I still have no idea what classes I'm taking next semester, and surprisingly, I'm okay with that.
24. I still cry when I get in a fight with my mom.
25. Words can't say how liberating it still feels to be able to wear jeans and a hoodie every day, even after quitting at the law firm nearly 6 months ago.
26. I'm rushing in two weeks, and I never thought I'd say that. Ever.
27. Sometimes, I'm upset I don't have as many friends as others. But, I feel bad for people with a lot of friends because I know that the intimacy I have with my real friends is far more exceptional than anything they have with their circles.
28. I really loved Walk Hard. I still can't get over it.
29. I read Nanny Diaries last week, and I still can't get over the fact that I could have written that book.
30. When do children go from being cute and innocent to being as screwed up as their parents are?
31. It's funny, whenever teenagers have sex, everyone says they lost their innocence. I haven't had sex, and I still don't think I have my innocence. Why must we equate the two?
32. I wish parents would just let their kids call their 'private parts' their vaginas and penises. I'm so sick of having to remember who has a tee-tee, who has a pee-pee, who has a va-ja-jay, and who just has a 'private part.'
33. The more I play with kids, the more I realize that it's seldom too early to talk to your kids about sex. Basically, if you're thinking about talking to them, it's time.
34. Christmas passed, and I still don't feel like it really ever came.
35. St. Peter's Gorge for a George is pretty much the highlight of my week.
36. Why is New Years such a big deal? Why don't we get the 1st of every month off? I'd love to be able to be off on my birthday.
37. They say people die in threes. For the past three years, that's been true. I can't help but wonder who the three will be this year.
38. My family is so wacky, I can't even describe them to anyone, but I wouldn't change them for the world.
39. I hate telling people I'm a babysitter/nanny/caregiver for a living because the first question out of everyone's mouth is always, "and you like that???" Yes, I do. Why don't you go take a kid to the park instead of calling your lawyer on your bluetooth headset.
40. I actually had a family ask me to babysit on Christmas this year. Is anything sacred anymore?
41. I refuse to have resolutions for the New Year. What's the point?
42. I honestly feel like this year has been the best year of my life, even if it has had some significant low points.
43. We got a waffle/sandwich maker for Christmas. It sounds unnecessary, but I feel like a Queen every time I love it. The grilled cheese sandwiches are just SUPERB.
44. I wish I could cook.
45. My favorite age is 1-2 years. Everything is new. Today, Eva said "maaaaa" and took a few steps. The joy you feel, it's just incredible.
46. I love to read. Right now, I'm reading The Glass Castle by Jeanette Wells. LOVE it. But so sad.
47. Everybody has his/her demons. Few people care enough to look past the facades we put on to unravel those demons and tame them.
48. Green is my favorite color. There's no way around that. It's just amazing.
49. I still love the movies I loved as a child. It Takes Two is phenomenal.
50. I was watching Family Feud today, and it was the ex-wives vs. the ex-husbands. And the host was asking the husband if he really wanted to be divorced, and it broke my heart when he said, "I've never been happier."
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